Intimacy of Air

The ‘phallic’ life-world is a bubble of meaning behind which lies the subject’s fantasy of it blowing the bubble with its own air. Its being-breathed by the other it never finds. It huffs and puffs until the bubble-house falls down, but it never catches its desired prey: the recognition that its ego and desire were worthy and real. Yet the bubble can grow to “ego-theistic” proportions, so far as the isolated zone remains so in the stale air: that of own-speech, own-meaning, that of an impermeability of borders. It seeks indemnity to be sure, automatically; in foreclosing the other-touch, it feels a fantasy of death as passage to unpoppable life. But the bubble does pop, proving life-drive and death-drive false in all their phallic presuppositions; the world which was (projected on) the bubble’s surface curvature has only an imaginary consistency, no significant reality. Such are the boxes that house egos: their cardboard sogs and decomposes into paper mush the moment the inundation of God’s reality comes. For truly nothing which is not built upon God’s word, at God’s command, can stand the test of time which, seen from the God-instance, takes no time at all. Such is the messianic-kairological intervention into the bubble zone: to make the speculative leap that it is all popped a priori, prior to investment-inflation. Consequences: evil has no reality and will be conquered, for it cannot protect itself from the coming of God’s reality, before which it (though not the suffering it caused) is utterly insignificant. Likewise, practical investments involving our bubble life-worlds now reorient to the priceless and true, beyond transaction and any necessary meaning; this opens them to God’s majesty at work in them. Then there is a sense of absolute preciousness deriving not from indemnified life or sacrificial death but from delicacy, fragility, appreciation for participating in the goodness free of bubbling lost egos – in a space of vulnerability, surprise, sharing, where identities dissolve and beings interpenetrate, actively living together the immortal life of God within the apparency of – and amazingly gratuitous reality of – “our lives together,” in the continuity of preciousness and unbreakable love. There is air on the other side of all bubbles, if one has the trust to be-breathed by God instead of by one’s own huff and puff. That is an air supremely shared yet irreplaceable to each severality that shares air in intimacy. In each breath together is the entirety of what will be there, for it is and carries without containing, it lives without locking in on own-life, own-mind, own-body. To understand this is to be “milieu-tized,” to become no one as oneself, to become a go-between in God’s expanse for God. It is to trust the bubbles can pop, that there is no one to defend – it is to come into the open air and sing.

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