COMBUSTION

In a rage one seeks those plateaus where the self is lost in limitless communication with all things, all beings, all times– and more, with what exceeds the whole lot: no being, no substance, nothing at all. At these unstable heights everything topples, including the self that attains to the nothing of being there when it does. Ten-thousand times the self topples over and disappears; ten-thousand times the violent display fascinates with the brilliance of a dying sun. This useless trek up to the self-dissolving and vanishing point where the human being is liberated from past and future and the order of things can have no “conclusion” but death: in this thoroughly anti-climatic climax, everything, reduced to filth, is pure…

In this ascent and rage that topples, one is overcome by a need to condemn everything stabilized, ordered, neat and understood, beginning first of all with the couplet I-world and extending out to all ordered things. Ones increasing passion for the formless, for movement and for TIME, annihilates the I and the abstract world of given things. I throw myself into a vortex whose only consummation would be death, and the vortex gives to being a meaning indissociable from a total loss of meaning– and so of being. This vortex is the constantly-erupting TIME that ruptures the order of time itself. Only in this violence do I experience myself as real: I “merge” with the raw energy that, restless arm of an instant infinity, confers upon “me” the identity-free grandeur of sloppy TIME itself. It then becomes impossible for anyone to know who I am, because, as TIME, I am incomparable, unprecedented; I do not match up with myself. Nothing can describe the passionate merger of being with TIME; it is a violent consumption of “resources”, burning like the nuclear core of the sun, whose only end is a brilliant death, a supernova.

Articulates the failure of consciousness to reach its peak consummation without colliding into animality and unrest… “violent death expressed as a removed-self”… giving way to the most uncontrollable “stupidity”, the most lacerating bliss…

Combats the placement of an immutable Being in or behind TIME upon which (or upon whom) an everlasting stability sheltered from TIME would be based… thus cancelling any notion of a human beatitude that would be sheltered from the meaningless consumption we call the death of all things in TIME… and yet fastidiously cancelling out our fear of this unevent, delivering us over to the brilliance of impossible lights… a sense of “immutable” human freedom equaled only in stature and resolve by TIME itself…

The outcome of this consumption is the annihilation of the consumed object, which subsequently does away with the system that this object once made possible and sustained. What then “is” is only TIME, unbiased, equitable, unashamed. Just as an exploding sun gives its solar neighbors over to chaos in the vacuum of space, the thinker whose consciousness meets death gives thought over to the limitless loss of logic of self, to an aleatory course of now-uncommon things, and to chance collisions, as in a solar conglomeration deprived of its gravitational lynch-pin. We can’t picture the reality of death and the “truth” of the universe any better than this terrifying vision of earth and all other worlds suddenly cast off their axes and orbits. That a balance be maintained for millions of years does not change what TIME is. In an instant, all surrounding elements are given over to the cold wander of bodies lost in space, and what once seemed to be the immutable unifying element at the center proves to be an aggravating deception, a cheating husband– the “self” a horrifying nothing– which only prolongs and intensifies, by repressing, the distraught/dead state of things.

TIME and ordered time, the sun and the solar system, death and meaning could not be more antagonistic. Ordered time tries to absorb and conceal the shock and surprise of TIME; likewise the solar system includes its betrayer in a coherent whole that elevates the bastard element to the status of eternal master; likewise meaning must grapple with and stomach the death that undoes every meaning. Nevertheless, the explosive element eludes the effort to reign it in, and everything is given over to the limitless loss of duration/visibility/meaning just as the explosive element consumes itself for good.

*

Is it possible to understand this combustion without breaking down? Society is governed by the order imposed by money and homogeneous time, which effects a reduction of all things, beings, and events to being “equal” to each other, of exchangeable value, thus subjugating even the human person to utility, maintenance of the order of equalized, monetized, homogenized identities, and thus scheduling time by enslaving IT; whereas the human is essentially the explosion (death) that cancels all of society’s schemes and calendars as so many inert elements rendered useless without their sun (“me”, a living being).

In truth, we are already exploding, at a remove from the rules, “dead”; but because we are afraid of this disorder and loss, we stick to who we are and what is our group; all while the moneyless go on embodying the useless refuse we all actually are, untouchable as death itself…

To identify with the moneyless, the “dead”, the agitated and starless, the aggravated and suicidal, the meaningless and the impure… I admit, this is hardly a “remedy” for our ills, but I do not know what else we can do to end the societal system that debilitates us and reduces us to exploitable, servile things. What option did we have, but to “die”? One has to go to the furthest limit of refusal and resistance, not even accepting the solar system, if one really wants to be free…