Trichomes array

New blankness dawning
I stare into the blank air of this tomorrow
It’s spreading
Rejuvenated generations
Curled and coupling and cute…

“Why aren’t we where we once were?”
With astonishment at the new–

I want to beg this madness along
I want to see it blossom determinately
I want to go under and not return
I want to touch
The depth of my stupidity
The breadth of my ineptitude
The destiny of my hopelessness
Just to know something
As infinite as myself…

…For that to come along
Earlier and earlier
I don’t want to anticipate anything
I just want it

(Nothing’s uncomfortable
When we share in it
But there’s no evidence for that
Only the fleeting feeling
That we are not separate…)

But of this city-sadness again
I can’t seem to create anything
But these laments
Poised to capture
The most dangerous fear
The sweetest connection
A symphony I wrote while sleeping
A painting I painted backwards…

I don’t want to wait
For my own courage
I don’t want to go back
To doubt’s doldrums
I don’t want to edit
What I’ve said

My hopes stand me up
I don’t want to stare them down
But must…

Something about the sky
Terribly frightening
I just want to be
Absorbed by it
Never to return
Never to respond
But to burn
With it’s priorities
Until the end of time
The bargain I strike with
Comes thru…

Beautiful ugliness
Awkward transformation
Don’t tell me what you do
Just do it
I have to live to see
What the next moment
Won’t mean…

My dear insanity so proximate
I touch you and cower
I touch you and flower
You are nothing to fear
For there is music in my shivering
And there is color in my petals
And you are the nearest you can be
When I explode with the sorrow that leads
A man’s heart back to the road
Where there’s
A rainbow bent
Over a brow raised high
Breaking through every regret
No joke!

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