fragilekeys

COMBUSTION

In a rage one seeks those plateaus where the self is lost in limitless communication with all things, all beings, all times– and more, with what exceeds the whole lot: no being, no substance, nothing at all. At these unstable heights everything topples, including the self that attains to the nothing of being there when it does. Ten-thousand times the self topples over and disappears; ten-thousand times the violent display fascinates with the brilliance of a dying sun. This useless trek up to the self-dissolving and vanishing point where the human being is liberated from past and future and the order of things can have no “conclusion” but death: in this thoroughly anti-climatic climax, everything, reduced to filth, is pure…

In this ascent and rage that topples, one is overcome by a need to condemn everything stabilized, ordered, neat and understood, beginning first of all with the couplet I-world and extending out to all ordered things. Ones increasing passion for the formless, for movement and for TIME, annihilates the I and the abstract world of given things. I throw myself into a vortex whose only consummation would be death, and the vortex gives to being a meaning indissociable from a total loss of meaning– and so of being. This vortex is the constantly-erupting TIME that ruptures the order of time itself. Only in this violence do I experience myself as real: I “merge” with the raw energy that, restless arm of an instant infinity, confers upon “me” the identity-free grandeur of sloppy TIME itself. It then becomes impossible for anyone to know who I am, because, as TIME, I am incomparable, unprecedented; I do not match up with myself. Nothing can describe the passionate merger of being with TIME; it is a violent consumption of “resources”, burning like the nuclear core of the sun, whose only end is a brilliant death, a supernova. Continue reading →

Humans are characterized by a vile need for consolations. We want to feel good about ourselves, about how we’ve acted throughout our lives, about the world we live in, and finally, about the state of our souls. The list of beliefs, consolations, and promises that humans have concocted to assure themselves that they can, in the end, go peacefully with impunity and a good conscience, is endless. Our day-to-day fabrications are even more numerous, by which we convince ourselves that (if only we did this or that…) the struggle could be mitigated, an outcome better than oblivion achieved. This need for consolations comes from our inadequate, indeed cowardly attitude toward the struggle (existence). We believe that the violence of our lives must be appeased, tempered, made meaningful by something that is greater than this chaos and scum. These needs have such clout in our mental and cultural economies that only those individuals most hardened by the ravages of death and loss will recognize it for what it is: a pacifier for babies scared shitless by the onslaught of time… Continue reading →

It is much easier to voice an exuberant affirmation of the Absolute than it is to voice one’s failing confidence in that Absolute. This is because, in the affirmation, recourse to the Absolute is immediate, implicit, obvious. One only needs to invoke the name of the Absolute and one’s discourse is supported: not only by the discourse of the Absolute (the mythology), but by all those who have and continue to affirm this discourse through their speech and their actions (the religion). But when my confidence in the Absolute wanes, so too does my confidence in my ability to voice anything at all. This is because, then, there is no longer any net to catch me. There is only my fortuitous free-fall through the absence of such a net, the absence of any Meaning that would reign in the disparity of my articulations, the absence of any Transcendent Will that would consecrate my actions to its Purpose or be the Goal of my history’s course. In the effacement of the Absolute, there is nothing like this left at all, and there must not be. We are exposed to the lack of any transcendent support whatsoever. We are exposed to the fact that “meaning” does not yet exist. We are exposed to the infinite demand for sense. Continue reading →